Martin (John Amplas), a young man who looks around 20-years-old, boards a train in Indianapolis, Indiana for New York. At night, he breaks into a sleeping car and sedates a woman with a syringe full of narcotics. She struggles, but he tells her not to struggle or be upset because she wont feel pain. After a few minutes, the woman falls asleep, and Martin has sex with the unconscious woman. Afterwards, he slices her wrists with a razor blade so he can drink her blood. The woman bleeds to death in her sleep.
In the morning, the train stops in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania where Martin disembarks. He is met by Tata Cuda (Lincoln Maazel) an elderly and hostile old man who claims to be his cousin from the Old World. Together, they travel by another train to the town of Braddock, a dying industrial suburb. They walk to Cuda's large house where he shows Martin his living quarters. Cuda then accuses Martin of being an 84-year-old vampire from his old country. He has taken in Martin because he is family, but tells him, "First I will save your soul. Then I shall destroy you." Martin denies being a vampire and implies that Cuda is merely his uncle rather than his cousin. Cuda then puts up strings of garlic on the doors to his and his granddaughter's room, and then holds up a small cross when Martin approaches him. Martin takes away the cross, and even takes a bite of the garlic mocking these attempts by saying bitterly, "There's no real magic... ever". Cuda tells Martin that he can come and go as he pleases. But he also warns Martin that he will kill him if he kills anyone in Braddock. He also tells Martin to stay away from his granddaughter Christine (Christine Forrest), whom arrives home from her job that evening.
Cuda introduces Christine to Martin, but also warns her to stay away from him. But Christine instead strikes up a friendship with Martin who confides in her about his vampire heritage. When Cuda later confirms Martin's claims to be a vampire, Christine, not surprisingly, refuses to believe either one. She thinks that Cuda and the other members of her family have driven Martin to insanity by making him think that he is a vampire. It is never revealed if Martin really is a vampire, or just a shy and lonely youth with troubled issues. Christine is the only person that Martin gets the courage to talk to. When Christine's boyfriend Arthur (Tom Savini) arrives at the house for dinner, Martin stops talking and backs away despite Arthur's attempt at a conversation. Christine later confides in Martin that she hopes to leave Braddock someday with Arthur, even though Martin points out that Arthur treats her badly and is both verbally and physically abusive towards her.
When Christine sees that Martin won't talk to anyone else, she buys him a phone which he installs in his room. Martin begins to repeatingly call a radio talk show where he describes what it's like to be a vampire. He becomes known on the radio as "the Count" to all the listeners. But the patronizing host (Michael Gornick) thinks he's just crazy.
Martin gets a job at Cuda's grocery store of stocking shelves, hauling boxes around, and even gets to be a delivery boy for some of the customers. One of his customers is a certain Abby Santini (Elyane Nadeau), who becomes taken in with Martin. She is a very friendly young woman who is depressed when she tells Martin that her husband is unfaithful. But Martin still does not have the nerve to talk with her, so she is happy to have someone to confide in with her life problems. Martin phones the radio show host to describe his infatuation with the housewife and senses that she wants to have sex with him. When the radio show host asks Martin if it is a sexual problem that he has involving women criticizing him during sex, Martin replies that he has never had sex with a woman who was awake.
One day, Martin travels by train to outside Braddock to look for victims. At a supermarket, he follows a young woman (Sarah Venable) home to her posh suburban house. He sees the woman's husband (Richard Rubenstein) leave for a long business trip, and Martin decides this would be the right time for more feeding. Martin returns to the house after dark and breaks in through the garage door. But it is Martin who gets the surprise when he bursts into her bedroom to find her in bed with her adulterous lover Lewis (Al Levitsky). After a vicious struggle, Martin jabs both of them with hyprodermic needles with narcotics, and waits for the drugs to take affect. He drags the unconscious body of Lewis from the house to a clump of trees across the street where he kills him by shoving a broken tree branch into his neck and drinks his blood. Martin returns to the house where he has sex with the unconscious woman. But out of compassion and pity, he decides to let her live.
Martin begins to have romantic monochrome visions of his vampire past (real or imagined), where he drained blood from a young woman and was chased through the streets of a nameless European town by a torch-lit mob.
During one Sunday at church, Cuda brings home Father Howard (George A. Romero) who asks him about the possibility of exorcism and demon possession. Father Howard calls upon the elderly Father Zulemans (Clifford Forrest, Jr.) over at Cuda's request. Together, Cuda and Zulemans confront Martin his bedroom and attempt to perform an exorcism on him. At this point, Martin remembers (another real or imaginary flashback), in the Old Country of people trying to perform an exorcism on him, and he flees them. Martin then flees from Cuda and Zuelmas as well. A little later that night, Martin terrorizes Cuda in a children's playground when he puts on a Dracula cape and puts false fangs into his mouth to pretend that he really is a vampire.
One day, Martin finally musters the courage to talk with Mrs. Santini during a routine delivery to her house where he tells her that he's aware of her attempts to seduce him and wants now to have sex with her. After having sex for the first time, Mrs. Santini becomes more depressed for she tells Martin that her husband just left her because she discovered that she cannot bear children, and that her desires towards him are based on sex and nothing else. But Martin wants to stay with her and help her move on with her life. Martin tells the radio show host about his affair with the housewife and that he no longer has the urge to attack other women.
Meanwhile, Arthur meets with Cuda and tells him that he wants Christine to leave town with him so they can get married and start a family. But Christine becomes angry at Cuda when he tells Arthur that insanity runs in their family and he shouldn't consider having children with her. Shortly afterwards, Christine packs up and leaves Braddock for New York with Arthur despite Martin telling her that Arthur is abusive towards her. But her mind is made up. Before leaving, Christine tells Martin that she really has no ill feelings towards him and just wants to make a fresh start with her life. She says goodbye to him and promises to write. But Martin knows that with an abusive and possessive man in Christine's life, she probably won't.
Depressed over losing his one true friend, Martin phones the radio show host and tells him that he's getting "shaky" and wants to go out looking for more victims. That night, Martin travels to a rough crime-ridden area of Pittsburgh and attacks two derelicts in a alley, injecting them with narcotics. He kills one of them by silting the bum's wrist and drinking his blood. Martin is about to kill the second one when a police car shows up and gives chase. Martin narrowly escapes during a long chase on foot which leads from the garbage strew streets and through a local store. Martin runs into an old warehouse where a drug deal is going down. A shootout between the two cops and the three thugs begins where all of them are killed, leaving Martin as the sole survivor who casually walks away from the carnage.
One day, Martin finds Mrs. Santini dead in her bathtub, after she had slit her writs with a razor blade. Martin anonymously calls the police to report the body and leaves. He phones the radio show host one final time to say that he really doesn't need friends or people to talk to for he is his own person. But when Cuda learns about Mrs. Santini's suicide, is mistakenly thinks Martin killed her and made it look like a suicide as he's done before. Cuda walks into Martin's room while he is asleep and kills him by hammering a wooden stake through Martin's heart.
Cuda buries Martin's body in his back garden, while over the closing credits various voices from people are heard talking to the radio show host asking the whereabouts of "the Count".
前一个小时的精心搭建，后一小时是有些浪费了。要捉虫的话，第三幕看得很气馁，角色失去意义，就回到了影片开场的那种话剧一样。音乐选得不尽人意，但是不管好坏，说到底，上海还是在为简中文艺兜底。
完全是一部海派的伍迪艾伦小品，本影迷看得如痴如醉，对费里尼的致敬与调侃也于我心有戚戚焉。以及成年人之间哪里有所谓爱情，无非是在生活的烟火里点到为止，推拉进退，最后又自然而然。
每个城市都应该有这样一部电影。一开始有点伍迪艾伦的感觉，后来就是全是白描，也不输出什么价值，就是展示一下生活的断片。有几个片段看得出是特别精心准备的，一点点小刻意，凝结出一点诗意。
人物塑造得太虚浮了，每个人都浮于表面，虽然嘴上都讲着些中英混杂的“时髦”话，但是太容易看透，也太容易乏味，剧情就好像那个画展一样不知所云，从头忙到尾，最后连个画展的影子都没看到
观看的时候，笑的神经的确有被调动，也呈现了近几年华语电影里松弛有加的人物形象，已算是相当奢侈的创作。但这种趣味性和地域的关系有多大，是存疑的。就像国际学校、混血儿、懂得Jimmy Choo的小皮匠……这些符号在多大程度上构成上海的特质，也是需要被讨论的。法租界成为一个容器，承载人们对城市的想象，在电影框架内构成一个过于简化却行之有效的逻辑。
李小姐的那一夜不过是断了高跟的名牌鞋，格洛瑞亚的那一夜只能是需要收款的画作，蓓蓓的那一夜或许是鲫鱼汤多加的调料。她们围坐在一起，听老乌讲起他的那一夜，原来爱情可以是男人一生的海啸，倾覆一座城的波涛。已经活到了不会为一张素描而心动的年纪，爱情终究属于神话，不如护手霜和点心值得回味。
人物和情境的打造简单高效精准，家宴和画廊两场戏太过瘾了，每句话都暗藏机锋。
“这个世界上没有值不值得，只有喜不喜欢”，用朋友的话说，所有爱上海的人都会喜欢《爱情神话》
爽文电影。由“那一夜，我们看话剧”，“那一夜，我们喝大酒”，“那一夜，我们看费里尼”等篇章系列组成，引发多年前的那一夜幻梦布道。从情景喜剧角度欣赏，可能远好过从文艺角度切入。
小布尔乔亚精致糖水片，有些地方过于精致了，比如路边的补鞋匠也有自己的coffee time。难得在国产电影里看到中产视角下的中年情爱，他们的爱情都是小联合国，他们的艺术都是现当代艺术，他们的电影都是费里尼起步，也只有上海才有这个地域土壤了。拍的很好，像是看舞台小品，但始终无法代入。
沪漂导演装腔指南，集合了外地人对于 “沪上精致生活”的各种浪漫想象。当轻松的情景喜剧看看还行，有些讨巧的小机灵小幽默能让人会心一笑，但脱掉日常、烟火气的轻薄伪装，内里依然是国产影视作品那股熟悉的真空感悬浮感。所谓中年爱情也无非是找了群中年组演员来演都市肥皂爱情，最关键的是谁TM想睡徐峥啊？！
人物和情境的打造简单高效精准，家宴和画廊两场戏太过瘾了，每句话都暗藏机锋。
+0.5 不喜欢散装叙事，但肯定影院需要这样的电影。舒适的观影体验，不太成熟但不带工业感的行云流水太难得了。离别的悲伤刚刚好，读不进费里尼的大众仍一样，让期待着大道理和深层次观众落空去吧。不是那种导演按头接收信息的电影，所以某一观众的如何不认可、无共鸣之类都不会对另一有过多影响：荧幕里的桃花源就留在荧幕里不好吗？老拿现实抨击他干什么
满篇写着都是矫揉造作！
雪天一盆火，苦药一勺糖。有房、离异、文艺、颓唐，不爱出厅堂，挺会下厨房。男人共情的是我熬了半辈子鲫鱼汤也该老来one night stand，女人幻想的是我倔了几十年总会有半个肩膀一袋吃食。沪上当然是精致的摆盘，但每一个要素都戳在普通话审美霸权的肋眼上，你能怎么样呢？导演一等一聪明，端上一锅老少咸宜浓淡适中的汤。微信里来来回回差半步就是油腻，牺牲了老乌总算是有了妥当的圆场。中国每年应该有十部这样的作品，一不小心让它出头了，其实真不是故意的。
二十岁的一次艳遇将他罗马倾塌，成为一辈子喋喋不休的坊间传闻情史大话；
中年人的情感，没有明确开始的信号，也不会有戛然而止的结束，即使说好不见，就算离婚或死去，也都不会轻易结束，像极了绵绵不绝的生活一样，一天接一天，一年接一年。
低配饮食男女 在我体系里应该三星半 但是为了鼓励4星 这个质感的电影我想不到大陆会有第二个导演拍得出 连配乐都如此好听 这个电影对得起电影二字 世界上最遥远的距离莫过你觉得李焕英是好片 这个是烂片
爽文电影。由“那一夜，我们看话剧”，“那一夜，我们喝大酒”，“那一夜，我们看费里尼”等篇章系列组成，引发多年前的那一夜幻梦布道。从情景喜剧角度欣赏，可能远好过从文艺角度切入。
不知道是我的要求变高了，还是大家的要求变低了，真的觉得很多情节是在充时长，设计感很明显，有点拙劣，Justin还是请不要拍影视剧了吧。
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