Martin (John Amplas), a young man who looks around 20-years-old, boards a train in Indianapolis, Indiana for New York. At night, he breaks into a sleeping car and sedates a woman with a syringe full of narcotics. She struggles, but he tells her not to struggle or be upset because she wont feel pain. After a few minutes, the woman falls asleep, and Martin has sex with the unconscious woman. Afterwards, he slices her wrists with a razor blade so he can drink her blood. The woman bleeds to death in her sleep.
In the morning, the train stops in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania where Martin disembarks. He is met by Tata Cuda (Lincoln Maazel) an elderly and hostile old man who claims to be his cousin from the Old World. Together, they travel by another train to the town of Braddock, a dying industrial suburb. They walk to Cuda's large house where he shows Martin his living quarters. Cuda then accuses Martin of being an 84-year-old vampire from his old country. He has taken in Martin because he is family, but tells him, "First I will save your soul. Then I shall destroy you." Martin denies being a vampire and implies that Cuda is merely his uncle rather than his cousin. Cuda then puts up strings of garlic on the doors to his and his granddaughter's room, and then holds up a small cross when Martin approaches him. Martin takes away the cross, and even takes a bite of the garlic mocking these attempts by saying bitterly, "There's no real magic... ever". Cuda tells Martin that he can come and go as he pleases. But he also warns Martin that he will kill him if he kills anyone in Braddock. He also tells Martin to stay away from his granddaughter Christine (Christine Forrest), whom arrives home from her job that evening.
Cuda introduces Christine to Martin, but also warns her to stay away from him. But Christine instead strikes up a friendship with Martin who confides in her about his vampire heritage. When Cuda later confirms Martin's claims to be a vampire, Christine, not surprisingly, refuses to believe either one. She thinks that Cuda and the other members of her family have driven Martin to insanity by making him think that he is a vampire. It is never revealed if Martin really is a vampire, or just a shy and lonely youth with troubled issues. Christine is the only person that Martin gets the courage to talk to. When Christine's boyfriend Arthur (Tom Savini) arrives at the house for dinner, Martin stops talking and backs away despite Arthur's attempt at a conversation. Christine later confides in Martin that she hopes to leave Braddock someday with Arthur, even though Martin points out that Arthur treats her badly and is both verbally and physically abusive towards her.
When Christine sees that Martin won't talk to anyone else, she buys him a phone which he installs in his room. Martin begins to repeatingly call a radio talk show where he describes what it's like to be a vampire. He becomes known on the radio as "the Count" to all the listeners. But the patronizing host (Michael Gornick) thinks he's just crazy.
Martin gets a job at Cuda's grocery store of stocking shelves, hauling boxes around, and even gets to be a delivery boy for some of the customers. One of his customers is a certain Abby Santini (Elyane Nadeau), who becomes taken in with Martin. She is a very friendly young woman who is depressed when she tells Martin that her husband is unfaithful. But Martin still does not have the nerve to talk with her, so she is happy to have someone to confide in with her life problems. Martin phones the radio show host to describe his infatuation with the housewife and senses that she wants to have sex with him. When the radio show host asks Martin if it is a sexual problem that he has involving women criticizing him during sex, Martin replies that he has never had sex with a woman who was awake.
One day, Martin travels by train to outside Braddock to look for victims. At a supermarket, he follows a young woman (Sarah Venable) home to her posh suburban house. He sees the woman's husband (Richard Rubenstein) leave for a long business trip, and Martin decides this would be the right time for more feeding. Martin returns to the house after dark and breaks in through the garage door. But it is Martin who gets the surprise when he bursts into her bedroom to find her in bed with her adulterous lover Lewis (Al Levitsky). After a vicious struggle, Martin jabs both of them with hyprodermic needles with narcotics, and waits for the drugs to take affect. He drags the unconscious body of Lewis from the house to a clump of trees across the street where he kills him by shoving a broken tree branch into his neck and drinks his blood. Martin returns to the house where he has sex with the unconscious woman. But out of compassion and pity, he decides to let her live.
Martin begins to have romantic monochrome visions of his vampire past (real or imagined), where he drained blood from a young woman and was chased through the streets of a nameless European town by a torch-lit mob.
During one Sunday at church, Cuda brings home Father Howard (George A. Romero) who asks him about the possibility of exorcism and demon possession. Father Howard calls upon the elderly Father Zulemans (Clifford Forrest, Jr.) over at Cuda's request. Together, Cuda and Zulemans confront Martin his bedroom and attempt to perform an exorcism on him. At this point, Martin remembers (another real or imaginary flashback), in the Old Country of people trying to perform an exorcism on him, and he flees them. Martin then flees from Cuda and Zuelmas as well. A little later that night, Martin terrorizes Cuda in a children's playground when he puts on a Dracula cape and puts false fangs into his mouth to pretend that he really is a vampire.
One day, Martin finally musters the courage to talk with Mrs. Santini during a routine delivery to her house where he tells her that he's aware of her attempts to seduce him and wants now to have sex with her. After having sex for the first time, Mrs. Santini becomes more depressed for she tells Martin that her husband just left her because she discovered that she cannot bear children, and that her desires towards him are based on sex and nothing else. But Martin wants to stay with her and help her move on with her life. Martin tells the radio show host about his affair with the housewife and that he no longer has the urge to attack other women.
Meanwhile, Arthur meets with Cuda and tells him that he wants Christine to leave town with him so they can get married and start a family. But Christine becomes angry at Cuda when he tells Arthur that insanity runs in their family and he shouldn't consider having children with her. Shortly afterwards, Christine packs up and leaves Braddock for New York with Arthur despite Martin telling her that Arthur is abusive towards her. But her mind is made up. Before leaving, Christine tells Martin that she really has no ill feelings towards him and just wants to make a fresh start with her life. She says goodbye to him and promises to write. But Martin knows that with an abusive and possessive man in Christine's life, she probably won't.
Depressed over losing his one true friend, Martin phones the radio show host and tells him that he's getting "shaky" and wants to go out looking for more victims. That night, Martin travels to a rough crime-ridden area of Pittsburgh and attacks two derelicts in a alley, injecting them with narcotics. He kills one of them by silting the bum's wrist and drinking his blood. Martin is about to kill the second one when a police car shows up and gives chase. Martin narrowly escapes during a long chase on foot which leads from the garbage strew streets and through a local store. Martin runs into an old warehouse where a drug deal is going down. A shootout between the two cops and the three thugs begins where all of them are killed, leaving Martin as the sole survivor who casually walks away from the carnage.
One day, Martin finds Mrs. Santini dead in her bathtub, after she had slit her writs with a razor blade. Martin anonymously calls the police to report the body and leaves. He phones the radio show host one final time to say that he really doesn't need friends or people to talk to for he is his own person. But when Cuda learns about Mrs. Santini's suicide, is mistakenly thinks Martin killed her and made it look like a suicide as he's done before. Cuda walks into Martin's room while he is asleep and kills him by hammering a wooden stake through Martin's heart.
Cuda buries Martin's body in his back garden, while over the closing credits various voices from people are heard talking to the radio show host asking the whereabouts of "the Count".
话剧质感，非常特别！全员演技在线，预定一个全年个人院线最佳！周野芒老师是今年第二次让我笑死，今年我喜欢的话剧演员纷纷投身大银幕，也算一大奇景，明年继续！
难得国产电影也可以像日本一样拍比较家常、靠近生活的题材，超出预期了
倪虹洁关门那一刻是整部电影最触目惊心也是最现实的一刻，更是最具有魅力的一刻，所有的“精致与流畅”开始有了反差，直面内心原来可以这么有力量，不得不佩服整个背景的铺陈是多么妥帖，以至于最世俗化的一幕却让人最心动。去中心化、去故事、去主题让影片提升了内在的格调，现在的电影终于可以不用去为伟大的爱情唱赞歌了，世界是很磅礴，但我选择沉默，柴米油盐酱醋茶才是芸芸众生的归宿，它可以不荡气回肠，但一样可以过的很有意思。
3.5。节奏和爱情小品的感觉很难得，只是不太喜欢背后的这份略带精致的小资底色。说是日常，烟火气却不太浓，可能因为这还不是我的圈子。
绝大部分电影都是有时态的。比如看港片，《八星报喜》《精装追女仔》《赌神》都是过去时，《智齿》《浊水漂流》《拆弹专家》是现在时。我特意去学习了一下关于这片的讨论，发现无论是正方还是反方，尤其是激烈抨击此片的，都没太理解片里吴越说的三个字“过去式”或者被那看画的路人甲文艺中年重复了一遍的"过时”到底指的是啥。拍片的人是不是心里有数呢，也许是宁愿做梦吧。当年老崔有句著名的歌词“不是我不明白，这世界变化快”，执迷于校准片中生活与人物或者为其辩解的，不是沉浸于还活在过去的错觉里，就是还没分清此时到底是过去还是现在吧。
我可能是完全不灵的那批观众，所谓的生活气息离我太远了，只觉得聒噪和做作。
观感很舒适，没有刻意抖机灵也没有狗血爱情，几个主角之间的人物关系戏剧却有说服力，而且好几段台词我都忍不住感叹写得太妙了，尤其喜欢片尾那种故事仍在继续的感觉，让我好像也融入进他们的生活里参与了他们的聊天一样，真是难得的体验
有趣！想记住其中的一句两句经典台词，结果看完后什么都记不得了，挽着老婆的手，过好自己的日子得了！
7.5 绝了。一个新人导演作品的城市电影触及了人生，爱情，政治，电影，艺术的多个命题，完成度相当之高，最后弄堂的就是全世界的戏谑表达也是有趣。电影语言稍有匮乏但瑕不掩瑜。
剧本真的不错 个人觉得配乐很烦 多一点上海城市的声音不好吗 其实没必要去扯什么伍迪艾伦 完全两码事
轻巧，温馨，无害。大都会里什么都有：男人女人混血人，像男的的女人和像女的的男人，要啥有啥，一应俱全。虚化的背景，柔化的前景，好像说了什么，又好像什么都没说，一个个儿好像是真人，但又好像不是。赵丽蓉怎么说的来着？白里透着红啊，红里透着黑。黑不溜秋，绿了吧唧儿，蓝哇哇儿地，紫不溜湫，粉嘟嘟儿地透着那个美。也许该去贺岁？也许不该。
和老炮儿形成很有趣的对照，男导演不仅不懂女人，也不懂有魅力的男人什么样。
第一场群戏太好看了。举重若轻的试探和刻薄又不失有趣的讥讽完美融入了一场嬉笑怒骂中。这是普通人版的《完美陌生人》，是市井气版的《甄嬛传》。
片中马伊琍、吴越、倪虹洁饰演的三位女性，性情不同，各有代表性，但都有程度不同的现代底色。从女性角度来看，这片有值得探讨的地方。对于影迷，专属梗不少。片名、片子的确和费里尼那部《爱情神话》有千丝万缕的关系。承担女神符号和欲望投射对象的，是意大利国宝女星。
学院派导演的娱乐片。比文艺片通俗，比商业片深刻。ps，原来老乌是林冲。
片中马伊琍、吴越、倪虹洁饰演的三位女性，性情不同，各有代表性，但都有程度不同的现代底色。从女性角度来看，这片有值得探讨的地方。对于影迷，专属梗不少。片名、片子的确和费里尼那部《爱情神话》有千丝万缕的关系。承担女神符号和欲望投射对象的，是意大利国宝女星。
年度最佳的院线电影，能在年尾的电影院里看到这样的片子真是幸福。藏在平静庸常下的城市味道，算得上是上海情书了。只有上海才会有的浪漫做作与世俗生活的混杂，竟然在里面能找到中男中女的丰满内心。累，麻烦，但仍然有期待，大概就是爱情的力量吧……
怎么说，对非上海的朋友不一定友好，里面有不少梗可能都很难理解。但我还是看出了亲切感，毕竟魔都就是这样一个充满了魔幻现实主义的地方。而且我觉得这其实是一部上海人自我嘲讽的电影，好多点都踩得恰到好处……好吧，编导不是上海人，我知道了……
灵啊灵啊，赚不到钞票没关系，明年拿奖拿到手软哦。
喜欢 喜欢 喜欢 喜欢 喜欢 太会高明地讲故事了 十星不够 ps.儿子和女朋友那条线有点多余，如果儿子一定要存在，让他做个开心的gay好咯。 22.05
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